The Scientist
by Bokunenjin
Summary: Another oneshot. Komui insight as he comes to grips with letting Lenalee move on. Implied Allen/Lenalee?


_**The Scientist**_

He made his own coffee that morning.

Even Bridgett was leaving him alone and giving him his space. It went without saying that everyone in the Order understood what this day meant for Komui; his worst nightmares were fairly easy to predict. They had blatantly exploited them for desperate laughs over the years, but knew to back away when it was no longer a hypothetical.

So he sat in his barely lit, messy room that he was rarely ever in and absently stroked a worn, leather album that rest in his lap. He was long past hysterics; he had already cried and screamed until his body couldn't anymore. Instead he flipped through the pages of that book with a nostalgic smile that would have unnerved anyone watching far more than his ravings.

As head of the Order and the exorcists he didn't have many indulgences. Of course, while he would sometimes lose himself in that mad scientist side of him to cope and pretend at normalcy, he was a very dedicated man. When he didn't have to protect them it was fun to play that side up: to make Reever hiss and chase him with paperwork, Johnny wail, Allen laugh nervously, or maybe pry a rare, embarrassed blush out of his normally stoic, cute sister with his antics.

Lenalee…

Komui stared at the book's cover. Yes, despite all that he really wasn't a selfish person. What he did he did for those around him, but he did have this book.

It had become all the rage; these intricate, leather-bound albums to put photographs in. Lenalee had been skeptical at first and gotten a bit flushed at his need like a crowing father to document her every achievement by golem or otherwise, but she allowed it because it made him happy.

She had grown into a fine woman, he realized with no small amount of pride even as he flipped through the photos for nowhere near the first time that day.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are.  
I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I've set you apart._

"The most beautiful hair in the world is back," he half-sobbed, patting her slowly regrowing pigtails. "I'm so glad."

Lenalee looked a bit uncomfortable at the attention, but she turned from the vanity to smile warmly up at her older brother. "Thank you for the hairclips. I like them."

He made a sound in the back of his throat that was a bit silly but far more touching, content acknowledgement. Her hair was growing out like before, but she looked older. His Lenalee kept growing so very quickly. It scared him if he thought about it.

"You should take better care of it this time," Komui said, sobering, though he didn't speak in rebuke. They both knew what he meant and Lenalee looked a bit sad. They both looked forward into the mirror but not at each other.

She had come so far but she still scared him every time he let her go out to fight. He worked all the harder to protect her as best he could. He would be _brilliant_ for her. Komui owed it to her, the teary-eyed waif of a child he had pulled from the ash and acrid smell of their parents' blood, only to lose her after a few bumbling years of trying to raise a baby girl on his own.

"You're becoming a lovely young woman," he said with a wistful smile. "I hope you know that." He was proud of her like a father.

Lenalee was as touched as she was uncomfortable and shrugged to make him let go of her shoulders. "What are you going on like this for?" she asked, laughing a bit even though she knew him to be serious. "You're acting like you'll never see me again."

Maybe he was. Komui hugged her tightly all of a sudden. "How can I help it with that Allen Walker?! He's going to steal you from me!" He was deflecting, trying to make her laugh, even if it did tug at his heart unpleasantly.

"Really, brother…!"

_Nobody said it was easy, but it's such a shame for us to part.  
Nobody said it was easy.  
No one ever said it would be this hard._

Komui was startled from staring at her adolescent photographs by a knock on the door and it being opened anyway. "Supervisor," his assistant said, looking at him in something between sympathy and exasperation. "The ceremony is starting soon… shouldn't you get dressed for it?"

Bridget was able to keep him to a schedule; Komui had to admit that much. He sighed, a habit she was making him develop, and nodded. "Give me a few minutes." He shut the book and with a last, almost concerned look she left him to himself.

_Running in circles, coming up tails.  
Heads on the science apart._

Cross stared up at the younger section leader. "_Who_ the fuck is becoming supervisor?"

"Dunno really," Reever said, not usually a person for slack manners but sometimes there just wasn't time to be formal. "Komui Lee. I hear he's from the China branch. Beat out Bak Chan for the position."

Cross let out a low whistle, even as he yanked a golden golem away at the last minute from tipping the beaker he had been pouring over. "That guy's a damn genius. This Komui guy must be something else." Something occurred to him, though, and he choked briefly on his cigarette, though the young man hid it well. "Did you say Lee?"

"Yeah." Reever stared for a moment as well. "Wait.. you mean like..?"

"That little female exorcist, yeah." Something about that seemed to trouble the red-headed scientist and he took a long drag. "Maybe things are going to get interesting around here now." He smirked at the golem rolling around on the table in front of him and teased it with the spent cigarette.

Reever looked at Timcanpy in some disconcertion for not the first time. "When the hell did you make such a kind of golem, anyway…?"

The way Cross _grinned_ at him thoroughly unnerved Reever.

The arrival of Komui was received with mixed, mostly negative blessings from the rest of the European science team at first. They had known and liked Bak Chan more. But Cross had _smirked_ at him and though he constantly undermined his authority, Komui felt that bastard of a man had far too much to do with his taking real command of the Order. That Reever took to him quickly as well helped.

At first he didn't care about them as long as he could watch over his sister, but they grew on him until they ate up his life like they did Lenalee's.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart.  
Questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart._

The formal uniform felt stiff and starched to him. He missed his slippers when he was forced into dress shoes like this.

But Komui couldn't really complain if it was all for Lenalee's sake. They didn't have real ceremonies like this often. It was the least he could do for her. When Bridget knocked again he was ready.

He was vaguely aware of music playing as he walked down the aisle of the cathedral, and he made a mental note to thank his assistant later for the thought she had put into the ceremony he himself couldn't bring himself to be detailed in. Allen stood at the front, hovering, _responsibility_ rolling off his form in waves even as Komui stood beside him in a sedate way that surprised even him.

The urge to watch out for Allen as well was uncanny, even if he did truly look out for all the exorcists. This tiny boy had long ago become the closest person to him next to his sister. Maybe that was when he should have suspected.

He also looked like he had been crying, so Komui gripped his shoulder in a reaffirming way. He felt so clear just now. "Lenalee would want you to be strong," Komui pointed out, smiling because that was all he could do without breaking. "She's waiting, you know."

Allen looked a bit relieved at that, though he was still overwhelmed by it all. "You're right."

When they led her in Komui had to blink back the tears. Was this what letting go felt like?

He'd do her proud. It was all he could ever promise her now.

He bowed hard, formally, clutching his beret tightly in hand. "Welcome home," he said so loudly it was a quiet bark, even as tears streamed down his face. He heard Allen's quiet, choked sob next to him and refrained from clutching this somewhat-family's hand in desperation.

He couldn't say he would be happy, but he would swear to be strong and honor her.

No one cried out loud as they draped a flag over this fallen exorcist's casket, but they bowed in respect at the memories she left behind.


End file.
